


tell me you love me, come back and haunt me

by WickedSong



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, hydra!Simmons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-04
Updated: 2014-05-04
Packaged: 2018-01-21 23:05:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1567283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WickedSong/pseuds/WickedSong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"There's a but. After all this time, after all these years, side by side at the Academy, in Sci-Ops, this damn plane, after everything they've been through and there's a but."</p>
            </blockquote>





	tell me you love me, come back and haunt me

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer/Note: I do not own AoS. Okay, so I know there was a lot of speculation even before Nothing Personal aired that Simmons could perhaps be a HYDRA sleeper. And while I still don't 100% believe (and I definitely don't want) it will happen, the episode still planted a seed of doubt in my mind. And then I kept getting vague ideas for lines in this fic and I had to write it down. It's a little vague, I will admit, (setting up context well is still something that eludes me). Title is super-long and it's from The Scientist by Coldplay but it had to be the title because I listened to the song on repeat while writing this and I feel like that line suits it so well.

There's the click of a gun behind him and he braces himself as he turns around.

When he sees that it's Jemma holding the gun, his first and only thought is that it's going to be okay. He's not going to die here. He exhales in relief.

"Don't," she warns him as he begins to lower his arms. The gun is still aimed at him. He turns to look, to see if any other HYDRA soldiers have infiltrated their lab but finds none.

A knot begins to tie itself in the pit of his stomach. It pulls tighter and tighter, as he keeps his hands suspended in mid-air and turns to lock eyes with Jemma once more.

"Jemma, what are you-?"

Her eyes pool with tears and he can see her hands shaking as she holds the weapon. It's a proper gun, not an ICER and he doesn't understand. She kicks one over to him but he shakes his head.

This is all a misunderstanding. It has to be.

"Jemma, they're all gone. They can't get in here. We're safe." He tries to take a step towards her, to reassure her, but she only steps back from him.

"Oh Fitz," she says, as she shakes her head. "Fitz."

She's saying his name as if it's the answer to the unspoken question. He asked it once before and she answered him. He shouldn't have to ask it again.

"Simmons," he replies. If only it was that easy.

"Pick the gun up, Fitz," she orders. She lowers her own slowly. "Pick it up."

The whole world falls out from under him for a second time. The safe world he had built up for himself on this plane where it was just the six of them -  _just the two of them in this lab -_  searching for things alien and unexplained, was compromised once more.

But this is the kind of hurt he can't comprehend. He can't throw things and shout because he doesn't  _understand_ it.

So he shakes his head at her demand. "Not until you explain what the bloody hell is going on."

She doesn't look fearsome or like she even knows how to handle a gun. She isn't comfortable with it - he knows that because he knows  _her -_  and he knows the weight that she's holding.

"It was all so simple, Fitz," she begins. "So simple. I wanted to find something new, something that could change the world. It was never meant to-"

He could be sick. He could throw up right here and not care about the fact that she's pointing a gun at him. Because her words – akin to a full confession – are worse than the bullet she could put through him.

"Never meant to what?" he manages to ask, disbelieving. He doesn't want to believe nor does he want to understand. "Jemma, you can't be. I asked you and you-"

"And what would you have done if I had said I was?" she interrupts, her voice thick as steel, but the tears in her eyes giving her away. She nods to the gun as she lifts her own up. "Please, Fitz. I want to find out."

Against every instinct in his body he bends down for the weapon. He doesn't take his eyes off her as he does so. He can barely find the will to lift it and it's like the weight is dragging him down to the floor. Does she want him to kill her?

"I can't hurt you, Jemma. I  _won't_. You know that."

Can  _she_  hurt  _him_? Could she pull the trigger? Before this moment he would have said no.

Even in this moment, he still thinks no.

He doesn't know what to do without her. No matter how this ends, whether they kill each other, or one kills the other or-

" _You'll never have to find out."_

Words that have come back to haunt him in the most spectacular way.

"You know I can't hurt you either, Fitz, but-"

There's a but. After all this time, after all these years, side by side at the Academy, in Sci-Ops, this damn plane, after everything they've been through and there's a but.

"Why, Jemma?  _Why?_ "

She's not looking at him anymore. She's scared to. "I never thought about it as SHIELD against HYDRA, you know. I never thought about it as me against you." She's quiet now, contemplative. "I thought I'd be able to stay in the shadows. They wanted me to get to you, but I-"

She finally looks him in the eyes and it's as if she's studying him. She must know him by now and it's then that he realises she's stalling. Someone wants him dead and she has to do it. Someone's probably watching them right now.

"Anywhere, Jemma. Anywhere, I would have followed you." The gun he's holding shakes in his hand, and he finally realises he's been crying. His voices breaks and he figures it's better to tell her now. Tell her before she shoots him. "I love you, Jemma."

A small gasp of recognition and a sad smile are all he thinks he's going to get in reply. "I love you too, Leo." A pause, in which he studies her and sees everything he loves; everything he's always loved about her - even if he didn't realise it until everything had fallen apart. And it is everything he could never fall out of love with.

So maybe it's better this way.

"It was real. I promise," she vows, answering the one question he didn't dare ask.

A lone shot fires, and they both fall down.


End file.
